Have We Gone Mad?
by GamingChiliHedgehog
Summary: After the events of the movie, Tanya continues to curse at Being X for always getting in her way. For literally no reason at all, the writer of this sorry excuse of a story crashes yet again. Why? Because she's a hopelessly obsessed weeb with nothing better to do than to write painfully emo fanfiction. Feel free to add this to your cringe compilation.


Somewhere in an alternate world, lives a young soldier of the Empire named, Tanya Von Degurechaff. Her character is rather complex as she does have many faces, but her true colors lie in her goal to live a peaceful life. One of which she has tried so hard to obtain to only have it backfire.

"Why..." Tanya growled. "How could this happen?!" This was NOT part of Tanya's plan one bit! She did not want to be a part of the frontlines, not again. Only this time, she's in charge of Kampfgruppe with not just her old crew, but with some new members plus authority to use tanks and whatnot. You've seen the movie, right? Yeah, this is the aftermath...in my perspective.

I've watched Tanya from afar, witnessing her struggle and conquer batter after battle. What if we met? How would that go down? Well, you're about to find out because these are the kinds of stories I write for mere entertainment. Get ready for a cringe fest!

To blow off some steam, Tanya returns to the church where she danced with glee, believing she got the life she wanted. Only now, she's come to yell at God or Being X as she refers to. The difference between the god portrayed here and mine are that God doesn't force Himself into our lives unless we are open to Him. Sometimes we do encounter God when we least expect it, but I doubt He'd intentionally torture someone just because they deny Him. The only reason we suffer from our sins is because much like drinking, the aftermath is a hangover and the aftermath of sin is every bit as bad or worse. Sin is death to us, therefore, we suffer.

"This is YOUR fault, isn't it?!" Tanya said, screaming at the angel statue. Her fingers were digging into her palms almost to the point of making her bleed. The tiny soldier shivered with anger and hate, causing her blood to rush more than it should. She picked up a small rock and threw it at the statue just to further show her hatred at Being X who would not answer. Tanya paced back and forth, hoping to get a reply. She did get one, but not in the way she thought.

Being X responded with my crash landing into the church. How and why did I crash? Let's turn back the clock about an hour before this happened, shall we?

I awoke in a small cabin with no one home. There was just me, a bed, a desk with a clock that read 3:45 PM, and a hunting rifle that may or may not be loaded. Knowing I wasn't in my room made me concerned. Was I kidnapped? Am I dreaming? No, this is too real to be a dream. I can feel the cold air from outside and my heart pounding against my chest.

"Be still, child." a reassuring voice said. It was my God speaking to me, though I was shocked. "This is neither a dream, nor reality. I have sent you here out of your permission and desire to change." What is He getting at? To make a long story short, life in 2019 has left me empty of happiness and will to live. My plea to God was that if He wanted me to live that He'd do something and this is it. Kind of.

"None of this will matter in the grand scheme of things!" I said. "I'm the one writing this story, not you!" In case ya didn't know, I like breaking the fourth wall a lot. "So why are you getting involved?" The cabin door opened with a huge gust of wind. It's snowing where I'm at for some reason.

"There's a coat hanging near the door along with a rifle and a computation jewel that will grant you the ability to fly. Go and take them." God instructed.

"Hold on! I don't have magic powers!" I exclaimed.

"You will as long as you remain in this world."

With nothing else to do, I put on the coat and jewel, and take the rifle. I must confess though, I am terrified of guns so picking one up that I know is real reminds me of just how dangerous these things are. My heart pounds even harder to where I can actually hear it. That's when I know I'm in absolute terror, but I know God wants me to take this rifle. It's loaded, but I keep the safety on.

I exit the cabin with no trace of life, but I look around out of fear that someone might kill me. The breeze and snow gain up on me as they blow in my direction, making it hard for me to see anything.

"Go and fly." God said.

"How?" I asked.

"Pray."

I nodded and said my prayer. "Lord, may you guide and direct my steps into holiness. Lead me not into temptation, but into your presence." With all that said, I rise into the air and soar to only God knows where. I allow Him to direct me to my destination. It didn't dawn on me at first that I was in the world of Youjo Senki until now.

"Wait a minute!" I gasped. "I know where I am! I wonder where Tanya is and what she's doing?"

"She's cursing at the god of this world." He said.

"Of course."

And that's when I inevitably crashed into the church! Are we good? Awesome! Let the story continue!

"Ow! Thanks for the warning!" I complained. After dusting off myself and looking around, I see the blonde girl dazed and confused. Obviously, Tanya doesn't know me or is aware of what I'm up to. Heck, I don't know myself. My mind is blank so I wait for an answer from her. The silence is a bit awkward so she decides to break it.

"Who are you?" she asked, trying not to appear hostile.

"My name is Rebekah, and you must be Tanya Von Degurechaff." I answered. Maybe I shouldn't have said that last part though.

"Wait! How do you know my name?! Am I really that famous?"

Tanya does appear in the papers from time to time and is known for her amazing skills. "I guess so." I shrugged. The little girl realizes I'm armed and loads her rifle.

"Who are you really?" Tanya asked.

"I-I'm not your e-enemy th-that's for sure." I stuttered, as I raised my shaking hands.

"What are you plotting? You don't sound too sure of yourself."

She's right! I don't, but I'm scared. "It doesn't help that you have a gun aimed to kill me." I said trying to hide my fear. Tanya decides to lower her weapon, but keeps it close. I lower my hands and take a deep breath to hopefully relax my trembling body. To show that I mean no harm, I lay my weapon on one of the peus.

"I don't want to hurt you, Tanya." I said firmly. "I want to help you."

"With what? I don't need your help." she answered.

"The more I watched you grow, the more I began to realize just how we share a common philosophy." I began. "None of us want to experience pain, sadness, or grief so we harden our hearts in hopes that we may avoid such a fate. You want an easy life, one that is free of struggle and stress. I get that as I want the same life too."

The very words that came out of my mouth were out of the blue, straight from my heart. I do want that life; one where I'm free and at peace. Can we have that life? Duh! We can, Jesus came to give us life, and life more abundantly. Tanya was rather dumbfounded, how I knew all of this was news to her, but she tried to not show it. Poor child, I feel bad for her because bottling up emotions isn't healthy. They need to be treated with proper care and displayed when necessary.

_"Being X set me up!"_ she thought. _"He's possessed this woman just to toy with me."_

"Whether you realize it or not." I said getting back up. "God loves you, Tanya. If He didn't, He wouldn't have let you get a second chance. This is called mercy!"

"I'm afraid to inform you that I don't believe God loves me at all."

"Your truth is a lie, He in fact does love you and so do I."

Tanya was caught off guard by that for a moment, but shook it off. Her perspective on people, herself included is not based on emotions but on their skills and how they benefit the world. If they contribute to society, then they are considered good. This is a toxic mindset as it can affect how you feel about yourself as a person; you know all the things you've done, both good and bad and it can make you feel worthless. The truth is, we're all fearfully and wonderfully made by the hands of God for a purpose full of hope. However, it's up to us to accept the divine calling or deny it.

I walk closer to Tanya as she takes steps back until she hits the statue. "You're a stubborn little one, huh?" I said giggling a little. I kneel down to see her eye to eye. "Stop deceiving others and yourself. Someday, your true intentions will be found out." Tanya lowered her eyes and pushed me aside. "Where are you going?" I asked. She didn't answer.

"You know I'm right about something, otherwise you wouldn't be walking away." I said getting off the ground. Tanya stopped in her tracks.

"Your heart's too big for your body." she said firmly.

"Uh, thank you?" I said sheepishly.

"That wasn't a compliment. This world is cruel, and it'll only get worse if you let scumbags run loose like wild animals. Stop giving everyone the benefit of the doubt and see things for how they are, not for how you want them to be."

"I do see things for how they are! Humans are made in the image of God to do for something better than fighting each other. If only they'd be open to it!"

"Truth be told, I hate war. It's a waste of human resources, but if others keep violating our freedoms, then we must take up our weapons and fight."

She's right about that, it is sad that our freedom is violated or taken advantage of for selfish gain. The lives of countless men and women are lost because of this.

"I've seen it time and time again." Tanya said turning my way. "People act on impulse rather than on logic. At their core, people don't change."

"I disagree! I was once a selfish brat who always wanted to win and gain everything. But not anymore!"  
"Are you sure? Are you sure you aren't here to gain something merely for yourself?"

That hit hard! I still do desire things for myself, but the always-wanting-to-win part is no more. I tried so hard to hold back my tears, but it's obvious to Tanya that her words struck a nerve.

"See? You're the one deceiving yourself. How ironic!" she said with amusement. "You blind yourself to your true nature in order to gain spiritual fulfillment. What a waste."

"Who's to say you aren't doing the same?" I asked, obviously in tears. "You're seeking a life of peace just like me."

"Touche. But unlike you, I set my personal feelings aside to get my job done in a professional manner."

I'm at a loss for words! I guess I am too sensitive. Tanya takes my rifle from the peu and throws it my way. "I'd shoot you if I could, but you aren't my enemy. You have several choices; end your miserable life, continue to live in agony, or get thicker skin." With that, she proceeds to leave. I don't want her to, but what do I do? A part of me wants to get that thicker skin, but the other wishes to call it quits.

*bang

Somehow, I pulled the trigger with the gun aimed at Tanya. She defended herself in a magic barrier, knowing I might do something stupid like this. Slowly, she turns around with eyes glowing yellow. It was at this moment I knew...I fricked up!

"Oh? Are you mad at me?" Tanya asked with a hint of amusement. I held the gun as a shield, afraid of what she might do. The girl closed her eyes with anticipation and with a swift movement she aims to kill with one bullet. Fortunately, I have magic abilities as well so I repel the bullet.

"Let's not-I'm sorry, Tanya! I didn't mean to!" I pleaded.

"So you can use magic too? Interesting." she said with interest.

"Yeah, but let's not fight! I shot at the spur of the moment! Please, I'm losing my mind!"

Tanya had no intentions of fighting me, unless I completely lose my mind. Something made her stay, her only guess was that Being X was keeping her, but maybe it's out of her own free will? Nah, it's the demands of the plot! "I can't take it anymore!" I cried. "I want to run away and never be heard from again!" Tanya has never seen anyone, in this life anyway, cry so hard. While she is human, she's conditioned herself to not react out of pure emotional drive to tears. In fact, she's more confused than anything right now.

Why am I crying to her? Why did I seek her out? What do I have to gain in all of this?

"Why do you want to run away?" Tanya asked.

"Because I feel trapped and I want out!" I answered. "I'm such an evil person!"

"You've come to the wrong person. Sorry, but if you've got nothing to offer, then beat it."

This girl can sure break anyone's heart at the drop of a hat if that person isn't willing to be of service to her. Regardless, if I wanted to leave her I would, but a part of me doesn't.

"HAVE YOU GONE MAD?!" I screamed. Hey, title of the fanfic, sort of. "Have you become so heartless that you won't feel anything for anyone but yourself?! I despise those kinds of people; the ones who use you for their own selfish gain!"

I've literally known someone who was like that; they only wanted me for what they could get. And that was, a sense of fulfillment in the job field. An itch they wanted to scratch, but no longer will I be a slave to selfish bags of skin and bone! Not like them! I refuse to be a part of their crusade!

_"How does this girl know so much?"_ Tanya pondered. _"We've only just met, but it's like she's known me for years."_

"Deep down, however, I know there's a part of you that cares." I said, breaking her train of thought. "Otherwise, you wouldn't have cried about the war not being truly over. Am I right?"

Reminding her of the times she was vulnerable, Tanya lowers her head attempting to hide her expression. I set my gun down and walked over to her. Then I kneel down to see her without looking down.

"How?" she asked. "How do you know this much about me?!"

"It's because I'm not from this world." I said. "I've watched you from above you can say."  
"So you WERE sent by Being X!"

"Not at all! Our gods differ, you see. Tanya, I've come here so I can remind you of your human side. It's nothing to be ashamed of, it's a part of who we are as human beings. We all deal with emotions, it's okay."

I then wrap my arms around her in a firm embrace. Tanya was caught off guard and couldn't move. She didn't fight it so I guess she's okay with this. I slowly pet the back of her head in hopes of calming her down a bit.

"I told you before, I love you." I said still holding Tanya. The church goes silent after those words echo and continue to in Tanya's mind. She's never heard anyone say those three words to her, except for her parents in the previous life. At least, that's my guess. For once, the little girl decides to feel something other than anger, rage, hate, frustration, or terror. She opened her heart to compassion, love, and understanding. For the moment anyway.

I felt Tanya shiver from the overwhelming emotions she's never felt before. "Be still." I whisper. Tears soon became evident in our eyes, shattering a hardness inside us. None of us wanted to let go, but we have to at some point. When we do, I can see Tanya's eyes filled with tears. She quickly wipes them away and tries to gain composure.

After we returned to our lives, the warm feeling stuck with us along with its memory.

**A/N: Thanks for reading! Obviously, this isn't canon. Just something I wrote for funzies so I apologize for any errors and inconsistencies. Fingers crossed for a season 2 of Youjo Senki! If we're getting an Isekai Quartet season 2, we might as well get one for Tanya.**


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